every moment...

I have really been struggling with things lately. Wrestling with the term "pastor's wife". Every one who knows me knows... I am NOT your typical pastor's wife. I've been struggling with the home schooling and figuring out our schedule for this coming year and a list of MANY other things I could list, but I will spare you and I won't list them all! Now, these struggles aren't to say I don't want to be or do these things, it's to say... I just need to hear God right now and know what I am to be doing.

When I stopped and focused on the things I'm wrestling with, my light bulb came on! I don't always start my day with God, I just try to squeeze him in some where more convenient through the day! I know God's desire is for my first fruits of my time to belong to him. So... I'm committing to that. If it's a busy morning... I will pray and read a couple of verses, if it's a morning I truly have enough time... I will do more!

This morning, I sat down with my Bible and this is what I read: Ecclesiastes 9:16-18 "So I said, "wisdom is better than strength. But the poor man's wisdom is despised, and his words are no longer heeded. The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools. Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good."

I read this, and I felt convicted. I'm usually a very straight forward person in confrontation and I tell you easily what's on my mind. Currently, there is something that is really bothering me. It angers me and I want to dive in and address it... but God told us WAIT. Wait? Why would I wait? Why would I keep silent? Some times, wisdom is silent. Wisdom waits until it is time to speak and then it speaks in love.

I think so many times, we get caught up in what we want and much like this verse says "The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools." Shouting isn't what brings God glory. Words of anger change nothing... it's sinning when you reach that point and no matter what you are confronting, even if your intentions are good, your wisdom is worthless at the point of losing your temper. It destroys much good! So, today, my prayer is that God would quiet me and help me to know at what point to speak and may I be able to speak softly but with the boldness he puts in me for His truth and Name sake!