Just too cute!

Tonight, we were doing our bedtime devotions with the kids. We started over in our children's through the Bible book. So, we were in Genesis talking about the first 6 days of creation. As we talked, sister kept noticing in the pictures that Adam and Eve were WITH the animals. Jeff explained to her before the "fall" of man, the world was perfect. It wasn't until after Eve took the first bite and Adam did as well that the imperfections, the sin and the bad things came into the world.

So, Joey is processing this and they are talking about how when we are in Heaven, things will be perfect again. Suddenly, Joey bursts out in laughter. In the midst of his giggling he enlightens us on his humorous thoughts!

He says "well, when I get to heaven, Bubble gum is going to be nice to me!" And again... bursts into laughter almost to where he couldn't breathe from being so cracked up! We all sat laughing more at his own reaction to his joke than we were laughing at his actual thought. He is so silly!


Now we all ponder and wonder... what has bubble gum ever done to Joey?

I love mornings!

Mornings are my favorite time! Not because I LIKE waking up early but because my kids are ALWAYS the most snugly! I love sitting and holding them and the hugs and kisses I get! :) Those moments make me so happy!

I then stop and think about Papa (God). As our papa, how much does he desire for us to curl up on his lap? So, take some time today and love and snuggle your papa before you start your morning! I bet it will change your day!!!

Getting so big!

Well, we are happy to say, sister is an official reader! She has been reading some here and there but the last two days, she has really been busting out those words and trying hard! I'm so proud! I have to say, it's bitter sweet! I don't want them to ever grow up but watching mile stones hit are amazingly proud mommy moments!

Healthy zone!

I have been really talking to the kids about nutrition, the important things to eat, not over indulging in junk food and I was so cracked up tonight!

We went to Wal-Mart for groceries. I told them they could each pick a snack. So, Abby picks her favorite of the Cheddar & sour cream Pringles. Joey picks the yellow chips (lays, original).

So, they both want their snack in the van. As I am opening them, I realize I don't have snack bowls. So, I remind them that eating things within reason isn't always bad. So, they can have the package but need to NOT sit there and eat the whole bag/can on the way home.

So, as Jeff is putting the rest of the groceries in the back of the van, I hear both kids counting. Abby counts to JUST two and says "That's all I am eating mommy!" Joey doesn't stop till four and says "Mommy, is four Helpy (healthy) food?" I chuckle to myself thinking "Well haven't we developed some extremists" However, I smiled and said "That is a good amount but I don't think a few more for either of you would hurt too much!"

Cracks me up when kids "Get it!" but take it to the extreme! I have to say, they sure make me smile!

God amazes me...

Some times, I just sit in awe of who God is... I have been really struggling in the last 24 hours. God knows my heart, He knows my struggles and HE knows my needs. Some times, in the midst of a struggle, I want to withdrawal from every thing and every one and just be alone. I even catch myself doing that to God some times, but He reminds me, I can do NOTHING in my own strength. I came to tears today reading Psalm 142. The WHOLE thing is wonderful, however for me today, there were pieces I wanted to share.

"When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way... I cry to you, o Lord; I say, you are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living... Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me."

These are, as I said pieces of this passage. This entire passage is about Crying out to God... in loneliness, brokenness, whatever it is, crying out to Him and being heard even WHEN NO ONE ELSE hears... He is our portion, He is all we need and in the end, those will gather around because of seeing God's goodness.

It's a reminder to me, that when living life, the most important thing is drawing near to God! When we draw near to Him, He draws near to us with great love and people are drawn to that love. It doesn't matter what we face, or what we battle with, God is ENOUGH! He is big enough. He is good enough. He is faithful enough. He is strong enough. and His love is MORE than enough!

Jeremiah...

I was reading the word this morning and found myself in Jeremiah. I was reading chapter 25 and had moments where I stopped to really think. These scriptures are talking about judgement and God forewarning the people to change, but in their hearts, they refused to listen. The scripture that sticks out in my mind says,

"Turn now every one from his evil way and from the evil of your deeds, and dwell in the land which the Lord has given to you and your forefathers forever and ever; and do not go after other gods to serve them and to worship them, and do not provoke me to anger with the work of your hands, and I will do you no harm."

The "I will do you no harm..." I think some times we as Christians become too passive. We forget how mighty the God we serve is and we think ONLY of his compassion and grace. One thing that has always kept me growing as a Christian is remembering that GOD means business. Yes, he is a God of grace, of love, of compassion, but He also can be turned toward anger. He asks us to change... do we? He asks us to lay down an addiction, or something we enjoy that we know is even maybe only a little wrong in our minds... do we?

It's an amazing realization when you stop and think about it... anything that God asks of you and you do not do... for whatever reason you may have for NOT doing it... you are putting that above God, therefore making and idol of it or worshipping it higher than your respect for God. I'm humbled at this thought as there are areas in my life I strive daily to lay down for Christ. We ALL have them because we are ALL human... but this morning... I sit quiet and I take note that God can be turned to anger at the work of my hands. Whether it be intentional or whether it be something I passively shrug off... God sees and God knows. The grace is there for me or for you to change... no matter how big or small the area is in life... God cares enough to help us change... What's he asking of you? Are you listening? Are you striving for Him? If not, today can begin that change...

Snow fun...

So excited to be outside!
Daddy made her a snow bed! Yep! She's barried!

Sis "helping" shovel the snow and Joey winging a big snow ball at her head! ha!

Again, "Helping". Her shovel would be full but she would either dump it back on the drive OR she would spill it all trying to teater the weight of the shovel. Cracked me up!

Laughter does us good!

After the last few days, we needed some good chuckles and we sure got them today. We took the kids out to play in the snow this afternoon. Abby made a path to the neighbors house by rolling! Ha! She's a stinker. Joey had fun just diving into snow drifts and laughing as hard as he could about it!

Jeff... well, he shoveled the drive, however I did notice that all the snow that ONCE WAS on his shovel usually ended up being flung at one of the kids! It was good to watch them play and laugh and have a good time! Those moments, I will Cherish forever and ALWAYS!!!

I'll post pictures soon! :)

Some days...

Some days are easier than others... but right now.... God is surrounding me and I have so much peace. we have so many things changing or in transition for us... my chain should be rattled! It's amazing to me how God directs your steps!

We have been in the midst of changing our care to closer to home for the kids. In changing, it comes that breath holding moment of wondering how its going to go, will we like the doctors, will they understand every thing... we sat with our family doctor awhile back and told him the writing on the walls with our wonderful medicaid was warning us this was coming. He gave us advice and well, we are walking it out now and finding wonderful blessings along the way!

The doctors that we are meeting are not only knowledgable but so great with our kids and our family as a whole! We are so thankful for the transition to be going so well.

In doing all this, they have given the kids the "clinical" diagnosis of mitochondrial disease. This is hard for us as parents to accept. But their concern is the drastic ups and downs that come in their health. some times, the changes are daily and some times the changes happen over periods of time. This is a diagnosis that as been on them, off them, on them... off them... But Cinci doctors were coming to the place of "Treating them as mito patients" because that is what they were typical of in their medical behavior. In talking with our nuerologist, she sat us down and we went over symptoms, treatments, reactions with a fine tooth comb. She explained mysteries to us... things we thought were just us being nervous were considered autonomic defficiencies. Things we thought were something were just things that "happen." It felt good to have some one take time and help us know what to worry about and what not to worry about!

She has stated that she is agressive in treating but that she's approachable. If something does NOT work, we trash it, if it works for one kid and not the other... we work with that. It's so GREAT they aren't putting the kids in these boxes and saying "Here's what you do" because our kids have simlarities in their symptoms but are also on total opposite ends of the spectrum in many ways. Which is another typical issue of mito.

So, this is the journey and where we are. we are putting ourselves out there and trusting God. If you are interested in understanding what the kids issues are, you can visit www.mitoaction.org this is a wonderful site to explain really what our kids go through. Some days are great, some not so great and some just in between!

Deeper thoughts...

Some times my thoughts get away from me and I feel like I am swimming in them. This morning has not been far from that. Questions of why are we where God has us? Why are my kids suffering with this muscle disease? Will it go away? Will they find a cure? Will God touch them? Why do they have to be so tired? What will be with this baby.... the thoughts just go on and on...

I struggle some days to remember the hope that Christ has promised us and I sink into the feeling of despair because I want to take this away from them. I want to understand our lives and the path we are on... but the reality is, it isn't for me to understand. It is for me to trust God and to know that He is able to care for us, able to carry us in the storms, able to teach us to smile on bad days... God is enough. I don't need answers because he is my answer.

This morning, I was reading my Bible and I came to Psalms 139. I stopped in a moment of reflection and aw. The first thing I read was this:

Psalms 139:4 "Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, Thou dost know it all."

Every thought that enters my mind... He knows it before I speak it. All the hurts, the joys, the angers, the celebrations... they don't pass through with out His knowledge! He knows well and He knows them even just as a thought. I was humbled that my God would pay close enough attention to know them before they even form to a word in my mouth! then... I read:

Psalms 139:5 "Thou has enclosed me behind and before, And laid Thy hand upon me."

In these thoughts and moments I struggle... when I'm unable to say what's bothering me... GOD IS THERE and has SURROUNDED me with HIS VERY OWN hand upon me! I sat in tears as I took that in this morning! To think that in my lonely moments, God is really all around me. He knows every thought that passes through this frail mind and HE LOVES ME ENOUGH to be with me.

Papa, thanks for being the God you are. Full of mercy and tenderness! Full of compassion when life feels it is too much! Thanks for loving me enough to surround me and place your hand on me! With out you, I am nothing! With out you, I have nothing! You are my only hope and you hold yesterday, today and tomorrow in the same hand that is holding me! What a great big papa you are to guard me in and keep me as your own! I love you!

Love,
your little girl

Resolutions made for me....

Most make their new years resolutions themselves... Mine was made for me this year. While at the doctor yesterday, I found out I have diabetes and have to start checking my blood sugars and watching what I eat now. I go Wednesday for my diabetes education. So, I started my new years day measuring food and beginning to think about all the nutritional stuff that goes into this. Have to say... I'm a bit stressed! Whew!

I am thankful though that I have to do this for Baby... I struggle to do things for myself out of just trying to take time for every one else... but now I can focus on this and get it under my belt and hopefully, once baby is born, it will be 2nd nature and I can continue on it simply to improve my own health. So... One day at a time... here we go! Lord give me strength!