Some times my thoughts get away from me and I feel like I am swimming in them. This morning has not been far from that. Questions of why are we where God has us? Why are my kids suffering with this muscle disease? Will it go away? Will they find a cure? Will God touch them? Why do they have to be so tired? What will be with this baby.... the thoughts just go on and on...
I struggle some days to remember the hope that Christ has promised us and I sink into the feeling of despair because I want to take this away from them. I want to understand our lives and the path we are on... but the reality is, it isn't for me to understand. It is for me to trust God and to know that He is able to care for us, able to carry us in the storms, able to teach us to smile on bad days... God is enough. I don't need answers because he is my answer.
This morning, I was reading my Bible and I came to Psalms 139. I stopped in a moment of reflection and aw. The first thing I read was this:
Psalms 139:4 "Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, Thou dost know it all."
Every thought that enters my mind... He knows it before I speak it. All the hurts, the joys, the angers, the celebrations... they don't pass through with out His knowledge! He knows well and He knows them even just as a thought. I was humbled that my God would pay close enough attention to know them before they even form to a word in my mouth! then... I read:
Psalms 139:5 "Thou has enclosed me behind and before, And laid Thy hand upon me."
In these thoughts and moments I struggle... when I'm unable to say what's bothering me... GOD IS THERE and has SURROUNDED me with HIS VERY OWN hand upon me! I sat in tears as I took that in this morning! To think that in my lonely moments, God is really all around me. He knows every thought that passes through this frail mind and HE LOVES ME ENOUGH to be with me.
Papa, thanks for being the God you are. Full of mercy and tenderness! Full of compassion when life feels it is too much! Thanks for loving me enough to surround me and place your hand on me! With out you, I am nothing! With out you, I have nothing! You are my only hope and you hold yesterday, today and tomorrow in the same hand that is holding me! What a great big papa you are to guard me in and keep me as your own! I love you!
Love,
your little girl
2 comments:
What a wonderful post, Mindy! Your faith never ceases to uplift me! God bless!
This is just what I needed to hear today Mindy. I struggle with the same things and questions of "why" when I wonder why Caleb has Autism and wondering if there will ever be a cure. Thanks for sharing this and reminding me that God has a plan and he is right there with us every step of the way :)
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