Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Stuck in a rut...
Do you ever feel like you get stuck in a rut? I feel like I'm in one right now. I have had so many mixed emotions since the kids change in health that I often don't know what to do with them. Right now, I'm stuck on emotion that isn't good... anger. I'm angry about wha tthey've been through, angry for choices that were NOT good for my kids, angry my son is going through terrible with drawals coming OFF OF a seizure med that should have never been used for so long or at the high dosage... so many many emotions and thoughts. The important thing I need to remember is that I can't change the past. we walked through it, it's behind us and what matters is today. It's hard to dwell on today though. Oh so hard! I want to dwell on yesterday! I want to march into some offices and let it all fly and tell people what I think... but that isn't what God desires of me. "Vengance is mine says the Lord..." Hmphf.... Who wants to hear that right? So, I'm working on laying down my anger and praying that the people who may have done wrong will see the light of Jesus through our lives and our testimonies. I know that God is able to handle things... I know the beyond a shadow of a doubt... I just hurt for my babies and what they've walked through! I thank God every day for the touch on their lives and this new awesome team of doctors that we are working with!!! Night all! -Mindy
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2 comments:
I'm so glad you are in a better place now. Don't feel bad, I do the same thing. I too get really angry. Since it's not what God would like I resort to prayer too, but I'll tell you a secret. Sometimes I pray that God would be that vengeful old testament God and rain down some lightening bolts on whoever pissed me off. Then I feel bad and ask the He help them feel His love and bring Jesus into their hearts.
I think at the very least, I feel better, and He gets a good laugh out of it.
HUGSSSSSSSSSSss
I understand what you are saying Mindy. My blog today might help today. I posted it before I read yours and then ready yours and saw how it kinda at least to me went along with it. We have to remember that doctors AREN'T God. They are only human like us and dont know it all. Yes its hard when it concerns our kids. I know. Noah has been dealing with bad stomach cramps for almost 1 1/2 yrs and his former ped didnt do much to find out the cause. I just changed peds. This one, who used to be thier doc when Noah was a baby but had moved away and now is back, did a boatload of bloodwork,xrays, and stool cultures on both Adam and Noah since both are having stomach cramps and so far we have found out they have H-pylori and still waiting on more results. So now getting sent to GI doc. Noah has suffered this long for something he could have been put on meds for a long time ago. I could get mad.. but what good would it do but cause more stress and take our time from the kids.
Im so happy Abby and Joey are doing better. God has blessed you.
I pray they continue to do better and better. I love reading Abby's sayings.
HUGS,
Gina Marie
www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahhaugh
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