What i intended to say is....
We have both feet totally over whelmed right now. Lots of fear as to what is causing this. Fear of what may be about to happen in our lives. We have so many emotions but at the same time, we have this odd peace... we KNOW that God is still there. We know that he's holding us and carrying us...
I told Jeff that there is a part of me that wants to get angry and say "Why me? Why my family, why my husband." I felt over whelmed before Jeff's illness arose and now I feel totally defeated... but every time those emotions start to arise, the question that God asked me a few months back about loving him even if God doesn't heal my kids arises... I suppose this is where the rubber meets the road. I don't know what is going to go on. I don't know where life is going to take us. But I do know this, If I love Him and I serve Him, It's ALL going to be ok. So... here I stand!
I will close with the scripture God gave me this morning:
Job 11:13-19
"Yet if you devote your heart to him and strecht out your hands to him,
if you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,
then you will lift up your face with out shame;
you will stand firm and without fear.
You will surely forget your trouble,
recalling it only as waters gone by.
Life will be brighter than noonday,
and darkness will become like morning.
You will be secure,
because there is hope;
you will look about you and take your rest in safety.
You will lie down,
with no one to make you afraid,
and many will court your favor."
Thank you God for the promise of hope! We stand in awe of who you are and we say, here is our lives... use them as your will be done!!!!
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