Well, I have been doing a lot of heart searching here lately. Things have slowed down a tad bit and I've had time to stop and think. I have been doing a lot of major cleaning and moving around my house... but some times you have to just do that in your heart as well. Since we have found out about the J-tube, I haven't been doing nearly as well. I've had A HUGE flood of emotions from confusion, to shock, to anger, to brokenness... but in the midst of it, I have struggled to channel those where they belong... the feet of Jesus. When I hung up from the GI doctor last Tuesday, I was driving and I had to pull over because my emotion was so great. My children were asleep in the back seat as we had just been to two sessions each for rehab. I sat there all I could say was "I don't understand." We had been on this path of doing SO MUCH better, and then this. At that point, when we reach that brokenness, God is able to move in the closest. In our weakness He is made strong. The catch is, in order for Him to move in... WE HAVE TO LET HIM. The Bible says that God desires us... He's passionate, caring, concerned, slow to anger, rich in love... you name, He is and always will be! Tonight marks a week since we found out about the possibility of our next step... and well, I'm letting go. You know, many of you who read my blog may not face mito, you may not have sick children, but you do have pain. Some is secret, some is known... but it is THERE. Just as the Shepherd carries the wounded sheep, so your Father in heaven wants to carry you! So, let go with me tonight... I promise... you'll love it when it is all over!!!
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