A new hope...

I really am not 100% sure how to put words to it, but I feel a new hope. I just hadn't realized how hopeless I feel inside. In one of Jeff's recent sermons, he talked about how when you surround yourself around people that are full of faith, you have more faith and when you surround yourselves around people that are not, well, bad company corrupts good moral... I have come to learn just HOW TRUE that is. I have a new found peace of mind. When we were going to Riley, I was constantly a mess inside. All I could think about was medical and what I needed to do to fight to keep my children alive. Last night, we went to my nephews and sister's birthday party. As I got in the van, I looked at Jeff and said "I have my life back." Yes, there were things I had to worry about still that "normal" wouldn't usual be careful of, but I didn't hover over my kids. I relaxed and I let them have fun. I enjoyed the company around me and I let go. You see, this week, they never said anything about death, they never told us our kids looked just OK for mito... they always said "Oh, for a two year old, he really is looking so good!" They gave us hope that life is going to be OK! They didn't remind us of the painful things of it being a miracle if our kids make it to be teens. nope! they looked at what they can do to get them stronger and gave us hope that tomorrow isn't so scary. It was wonderful! I didn't realize how hopeless life felt... Again, I feel like I have my life back. I feel like I don't have to cling to God every moment and plead with him to not let my babies go from me... I feel like I can enjoy them being two and three now! I'm so thankful that God has given us this safe place right now!